When completely giving up self-care, feelings of worthiness only come when helping another person. A codependent individual then needs a crisis to occur to show his or her value. Instead of letting an addict or alcoholic deal with the consequences of substance-abusing behaviors, the codependent partner fears being rejected or no longer being needed. Consequently, the codependent person may see a partner drunk and about to drive but not interject because that would upset the alcoholic partner. The codependent person puts the dysfunctional person’s needs above his or her own and above those of the community.
These agreement patterns are often described as people-pleasing behaviors in which the potential reaction of another person negates your own sense of right and wrong. The codependent person’s happiness has become completely intertwined with the substance abuser, and both people spiral down, often to the point of no return. Frequent arguments occur, unrealistic expectations are created, excuses are made for one another, mutual attempts at control are unsuccessful, empty threats damage any real connection that existed, and the cycle of alcoholism or addiction continues.
Seeking a treatment program for alcohol, drug, and codependency problems can be very difficult because change seems scary. The fear of change is intensified when deeply rooted defense mechanisms and methods for coping that have been used long-term are actually self-destructive. While it seems too difficult, formal treatment is the best option. The consequences of codependency and substance abuse will not stop without intervention. By learning new coping skills and better ways to build a healthy sense of self-esteem, people who are in the cycle of codependency and substance abuse can make small changes that greatly impact their lives.
Breaking down denial and getting to the root of shame, fear, guilt, and insecurity give each member of a destructive partnership a chance at a healthier life. While participating in a rehab program, both the substance abuser and the codependent partner can identify a loss of identity, the pattern of happiness is determined by an external object, the problems that became progressively worse, and the desire to control that became intense within the codependent relationship.
An effective treatment program will help identify the destructive thinking and behavior patterns that reinforce codependency and substance abuse. Through individual and group therapy, treatment focuses on shifting responsibility to yourself rather than onto another person, place, or thing. The benefits of effective treatment are feelings of safety and worthiness and regaining interest in your own life without dependency on anyone else.
When the alcohol and drug abuse of someone close to you has created a cycle of codependency in your home, treatment programs, Al-Anon, and Alateen can help you make changes and heal your own life.
An effective treatment program will help identify the destructive thinking and behavior patterns that reinforce codependency and substance abuse. Through individual and group therapy, treatment focuses on shifting responsibility to yourself rather than onto another person, place, or thing. The benefits of effective treatment are feelings of safety and worthiness and regaining interest in your own life without dependency on anyone else.
